Military Humour: Military vs Civilian Friends

Posted: September 18, 2009 in Humour, Military
Tags: ,

I got this from a mate, a rather authentic (Infantry) mate. So … without further ado and without editing: enjoy! 😀


CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk
Military FRIENDS: Will post 360 security so you don’t get caught

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs
Military FRIENDS: Call your parents Drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
Military FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn…we fucked up…but hey, that shit was fun as fuck!”

Military FRIENDS: laugh at you and tell you to put some vagasil on your pussy.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Military FRIENDS: Keep your stuff until they PCS.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
Military FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing.
Military FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
Military FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, “I’m home!”

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
Military FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, “Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don’t waste.. That’s alcohol abuse!!!”

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will say “I can’t handle Tequila anymore”.
Military FRIENDS: Will say “okay just one more” 2 minutes later “okay just one more”.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
Military FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!!

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will tell you “They’d take a bullet for you.”
Military FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.

  1. sequelguerrier says:

    Hmmm, the sentiment of ‘us and them’ is almost too true to be funny. It has a real sting in the tail!

  2. Carol says:

    Too funny… I’d add one,

    Civilian Friends: Help you move.

    Military Friends: Help you move bodies.

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